Inbox: Upcycled

[syntech]

[Just that simple, automated voice saying 'leave a message'.]

This page also serves as the text inbox for Ethan's Upcycled phone, as well as for any more secure networks he/someone may set up to use.

Comments

[expio]

[ Abel is quiet for a moment; he can't deny that there is a pang of something deep and old in his chest at Ethan's response. perhaps the boy's merely being self-deprecating, but... if he was damning himself, he was also damning his company to a destiny in dark places. 'idealist,' hm...

the priest shifts away a bit. ]

You're right... There's no amount of good you can do that will take back your sins. That isn't how life works, as nice as it would be - it isn't a scale, where if you've gone too far in one direction, you just put enough on the other end to balance it all out.

[ but... ]

That doesn't mean you should be empty forever. You can make amends, even if you can't forgive yourself. No... maybe it's because you won't forgive yourself that you don't belong there. Someone who sits and wallows in self-pity in that place is no good to anyone, especially those he's wronged. The only people who should be locked away in that emptiness are monsters who would rather do nothing than face the burden of responsibility, and you're not a monster.

[ he draws back, a bit more - just enough that he can begin stretching to his feet. ]

What's done is done... and you know this already. All you can do, is... fight, now. For those you love. This is something you have to do, and want, yourself. Either you bear the pain and stand for them, and let them hold you up in return, or... you sink, and lose it all. Whatever you believe, Ethan... if you hear nothing else I'm saying to you-- I am telling you to please hear this.

It is never too late. For them, or you.

[syntech]

[It's a lifestyle, for him. For them all, really. A piece of the manifesto of a man fully aware that he is creating an environment full of people who would one day be obsolete. Unnecessary. And each of them, in their way, takes responsibility for their actions.

It's a complicated mess, in the end. It makes it easy to accept the concessions, and harder to do so quietly. There's a... Certain measure of implication in Abel's words, after all. What belongs here and what doesn't...]

I'm not a monster. [It's not him trying it out - it's agreement, now. He knows, compared to the things he's seen, he's nothing.] I'm just not afraid to be a villain, in the eyes of the masses. Because if no one else...

[he trails off. They're not taking about home now. He doesn't want to talk about home, deal with the heavy weight in his chest.

Fight. It's so simple, isn't it? It's been the answer every time. The monsters. The reality. The very real guilt juxtaposed against soft encouragement.

Is it worth it? He's afraid. It's a new emotion, in this way. Between them all, he wonders-- would it be easier with some?]

I don't-- love. [There's a hesitance then, one that's honestly too awkward to be anything but real. More specifically - he doesn't know what he's actually feeling, other than that it's terrifying in its strength.]

... But I can fight, if they... If he wants to. [A two-pronged issue, but one will be solved easier than the other. It won't help his mental state anytime soon, and honestly... This isn't anything he wasn't already planning.]

I just... Needed time. After seeing that. I can't start a dialogue if I can't reliably remember what was done to sixty versus what I was made to watch. I hadn't thought anything he could do would be half as cruel as that. Had thought the plastic and thirium would make it easier to separate.

[That... Is probably a concerning declaration. Set of declarations, really. All he'd had, he said - it leaves no room for interpretation as far as the circumstances.]

[expio]

When you're ready, I'm sure they'll be waiting for you. And... at the end of the day, I hope that when everything is said and done that you'll find some peace in whatever happens, for what it's worth.

[ he offers a small smile, whether in encouragement, reassurance, or just solidarity. ]

...Don't stay out here for too long, okay?

[syntech]

[Will they? It remains to be seen, he concedes.]

It'll be an answer, which is more than I have right now... And I wasn't planning on it. The chill won't let me stay out too much longer.

[It's almost amused. Almost. He shifts his weight, stretching his legs - they're quite loud in their protesting groans.]

It's just nicer to hear something when I can. Until the Synesthesia comes back.

[he's half talking to himself there.]

..... Thank you, Abel. [he may not feel better, the way he had last month, but... Maybe, for a little while, it was good to be serious. To see under the veneer, the facade they use to bury their hearts.]

[expio]

[ he knows he isn't going to be the one able to offer Ethan that peace of mind - it'll be those he cares for and who Ethan wanted to protect. Abel just has to have faith in him, and so he does.

he offers a little wave, before taking his leave. hopefully he'd have the courage to talk to them now, and... the rest is in his hands ]